Defeating Deficits

Jul 20

{My brain surgeon and me. He saved my life, but did famously tell my family, “there will be deficits”}

There are plenty of very annoying issues with my disabled body.

In fact, it is amazing how much I still don’t grasp (right off the bat at least) that my body can’t do this or that anymore.


*I saw a groupon for teeth whitening the other day and wanted to buy it.  My mouth is partially paralyzed – NO ONE SEES MY TEETH!

*James falls, and I immediately go to him (of course I fall, too), but it’s a mother’s instinct.

*My in-laws were in town last march and decided that since we only live 5 miles from the beach, they would walk there from our house.  I chimed in that I’d be ready in the morning to do that.  “How cool, let’s do it!” I remember thinking, but I can barely walk 10 feet and I walk at a snail’s pace.

*If someone pulls out a camera, and says smile for the picture, I automatically smile (my old open mouthed grin), and then have to remember to close my mouth and do my (slightly sad) closed moth-half smile thing.

Your instincts don’t change just because your body has.  It’s sad.

If you look at the post below this one, at the picture where I’ve cleaned my plate, you can clearly see that the thigh muscle is too large for my face.  The muscle bulges out and only surgery will correct that.  You can imagine how that feels after everything I went through to get that muscle in my face.

If you’ve eaten a meal with me recently, you know that it takes me twice as long as it should (since my mouth is partially paralyzed I only chew on the left side) and it is very laborious.  I frequently cough, semi-choke on even a small bite, and have to swallow a sip of a beverage after every bite to push the food all the way down.

If you’ve whispered in my right ear recently, then I probably looked at you with a blank expression on my face or moved your mouth to my other ear.  Since I am totally deaf in the right ear, I have learned to just move someone’s head to the other side of my face or just smile if that’s not appropriate.

Life’s kinda tough for me.  That’s ok though.  Life’s tough for everyone.  We are all fighting battles and defeating deficits.  We are all fragile.

Perhaps that means we need to take better care of each other.



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