The Wolfs have been known to throw a party or two, and admittedly, we love a good theme. Every year, we throw an “Endless Reasons to Party” party, celebrating our birthdays (which are 3 weeks apart), as well as “Katherine Lived Day”, as well as pretty much anything else worth celebrating when that time of year comes around.
This year, we themed the 30th birthday celebration as our “Roman Holiday”. Despite the theme, we opted against togas and focused all of our creative efforts on the food. Fresh off actually eating our way through Rome and out of most normal-sized pants (here), we had to figure out a justifiable way to cook up and eat lots more of those Italian delicacies without looking gluttonous. I think our plan worked. Salute!
Isn’t it interesting how we all assume that there is some invisible quota for annoyances, pain, and suffering? We seem to be in a bit of a season of “when it rains it pours” (see “One of Those Days“). I wrote this today from my local Starbucks as I had to evacuate our little house for several hours as it was being exterminated from fleas.
Just a few days ago, we began noticing itchy little black jumping specks. Since we don’t have any pets, fleas didn’t immediately come to mind, but as the infestation suddenly went from bad to biblical plague proportions, we quickly figured it out (apparently a few neighbors’ homes have also been infested, likely from a stray cat or possum that snuck under the house). There are not many things sadder than seeing a child tormented by incessantly itchy bug bites from “Mr. Itchy Mans” (his nickname for the fleas). Luckily, we have plenty of “Toy Story” bandaids on hand. Well today, I finally called in the professionals, and despite the bill, which made my bad day worse, I think our recent uninvited visitors will be leaving us soon, which will be totally worth it.
It’s funny how in the middle of some unexpected hardship it’s hard to remember how things used to be when they were “normal”. I guess if nothing else, these types of moments help to remind us not to take for granted the most mundane aspects of life, like the fact that the majority of time, we get to live in a non-itchy home, one that’s not infested by bugs that torture us all day and night. Believe me, tonight, as I get into my clean bed, free of Mr. Itchy Mans, it will not be taken for granted.
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A recent song I’ve been listening to echoes the truth that these highs and lows not only come with the territory of life but are vital counterbalances to each other. You can’t truly appreciate the good moments, unless you’ve been through the bad ones. I hope it encourages you like it has encouraged me today.
“I wish upon you an easy life. I wish upon you hard times. I hope you know that both joy and pain each need their moment to shine….As the sun sets, the moon begins to rise. So even in the darkness you’ll find the light...“
*** I decided to start a new tradition on Hope Heals and write a little essay about motherhood on Mother’s Day every year. I feel it just wouldn’t be right to publish an essay about this topic without telling you about Saturday morning…
{We were having that playdate brunch over here to start our morning. (It was wonderful and adorable, btw). Before all the families arrived, James was freaking out about other kids playing with his toys. Next thing we knew, James dressed himself in one of the more hilarious outfits we’ve ever seen and LOCKED HIS ROOM FROM THE INSIDE. So, we had no way to get into his room to change his clothes (Jay eventually climbed through his window later in the day), and no way to get out toys, etc. for other kids to play with that day. From the playdate, we had to race to a birthday party of the daughter of a precioius couple from “Jawja” (who we just love). They are stylish and fabulous and our son was dressed as a lil ragamuffin at their child’s party.
Ugh. Embarassing! All part of motherhood, I guess.}
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So, since yesterday was Mother’s Day (and mine was wonderful, btw) and because today is a lovely “Motherhood Monday” on this little blog, I give you my thoughts …
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Motherhood is bittersweet for me because I have been a mother for over 4 years, but it’s only been recently that I actually feel like a mother again.
On April 21, 2008, I suffered a near-fatal brain stem stroke as my 6-month old son, James, sweetly slept in the next room. Those first few horrific months of life dangling by a thread have (blessedly) been stricken from my memory. Nonetheless, I would endure them all again if only I could experience those fleeting moments of my baby’s first year of life. Photographs from that time are my only real source of memories.
As I referenced in the posts about the Casa Colina “Tribute to Courage” event, one of the most special parts of the night was that Casa Colina produced a video about my story, compiling tons of video footage, pictures, and interviews, many of which have never been seen publicly before. They did a really great job.
{my last day of therapy at Casa Colina, November 2009}
Honestly, it was kind of hard for me to watch. Seeing the arch of my story, from our wedding, to James, to the stroke and recovery, brought a flood of difficult memories back to me. Thankfully, the end of the story is good, (different than we thought) but so good.
Feel free to watch it, if you have a spare 15 minutes in your day…
Particularly since my stroke, I can think of countless instances where different areas in my life have beautifully intersected and circumstances have come full circle in a way that can only be called providential. I call it “God winking” at me. Here is one of those recent instances.
Prior to the Casa Colina “Tribute to Courage” event (Part 1 and 2 here), an advertisement for the event was placed in the LA Times. Way across town from me, Risa Sheppard was reading her Sunday paper at home and saw this ad, and for some reason (like Dr. Gonzalez deciding to operate on me), she couldn’t get my story out of her head.
I do NOT normally do this (because there are simply WAY too many sweet people who contact me with information about their loved ones in need), but this is the brother of a dear friend, Lacey, who lived in LA at the time of my stroke. On her days off from work, she would drive all the way to Pomona (to our home at Casa Colina) and help with the house cleaning, babysit James, help with the laundry, etc. In a small way, I feel like this is a way to honor her. Her brother is in need of tremendous prayers tonight.
{Lacey, our friend, with her brother Jonathan}
From Kim (another sweet friend of ours):
“Jonathan Wicksall is 29 years old and lives in Chicago. He was in North Carolina for vacation this past weekend when he was in a four wheeler accident. He is currently being treated in the ICU at Duke. He suffered a couple small brain bleeds, a broken femur, damage to his lungs, and fractured bones in his face. Prayers are needed over the next 12 hours as Jonathan’s lungs are in very, very bad condition due to infection. If his infection and oxygen levels do not improve, dramatic steps will need to be taken. Also, no other necessary surgeries will be able to be performed until his lungs improve.”
It’s been about a week and a half since my vocal cord surgery. I don’t want to make anyone gag by going into too much detail; however, I feel like I owe it to all the people who were praying about it and praying for me to tell you how I’m doing now.
Honestly, it was tough.
After SEVEN surgeries, I guess I always think that it won’t be a very big deal or won’t bother me very much. WRONG.
Because this doctor is one of the best in the world, he is a little tough to “chat” with about all my details of surgery. So much so, that we had thought that the implant would be implanted in my vocal cord through my nose. The morning of the surgery, we found out that they make an incision in my neck and place the implant in that way. We also found out that I would be woken during surgery (while totally numb, of course) and need to “phonate” so that they know exactly where to place the implant. Cool. I’m only kinda scarred for life.
Anyway, I must admit, I’m not always the best patient (sorry, Jay). I was allowed to talk without restriction post-surgery but instructed not to push it. I probably ran with that a little too much. I even had a speaking engagement at a church in San Diego this past weekend (it was scheduled long before I knew the surgery date), which may have been a little soon. Oh well, it worked out! I fully believe in resting and relaxing when needed, but who can blame me for not wanting to miss out on a week of this wonderful life!?! A few examples of me and my lovely, ragged throat bandages packing it in…
{perfect Friday afternoon on the beach in Coronado (they put us up — free family getaway!) before the Saturday speaking engagement}
EXCITING NEWS = MY HEART IS FULL (AGAIN). While theadventureproject did not quite meet their massive, massive goal, they did support 150 water well mechanics in India! You met and then surpassed every goal I set (I kept increasing them) and if you go to campaign homepage, you can see that I even surpassed the project creator herself and became the #1 fundraiser for the entire project. WHAT ON EARTH? You all are just too good to me. My cup runneth over to the nth degree.
This event was planned and executed as well as anything I’ve ever seen. The venue, food, band, and speaker were all phenomenal. Casa Colina even created a deeply moving video of our lives and my recovery, which they compiled over nearly a year’s time. They started at our wedding and even had footage from the ICU in it. It was tough to watch, but very, very beautiful. I’m going to post it here sometime in the near future.
Jay and I were honored at Casa Colina’s “Tribute to Courage” in late February (as we referenced in “Our Big Night“). This honor is bestowed on a former patient of Casa Colina’s neuro-rehabilitation program whose recovery exemplifies all that Casa Colina hopes for its patients. During the nearly year and a half we spent at Casa Colina, it became a kind of family for us. It was a home. We grew to deeply love Casa and all the people there.
As life has a way of doing, those precious people and that place are now distant memories. Seeing those faces again and remembering that time was hard but so rich. I was very blessed to have gone there and to have received this award that night. Almost four years later, we are so grateful to be at a place in our lives where we can be honored for how far I have come–what a meaningful milestone.
I hope you had a chance to watch the CBS news story (here if not) from that night. Here is another news story about that night. I like here that you can see more of the beautiful venue and catch a glimpse of the grandeur of this event.
It’s honestly been a rough couple of days since my surgery. I suppose the pain has been more than I anticipated. Hopefully, I will be out of the worst in the next day or so, but until then, I have accepted any and all treats to soothe the pain.
{the scar on my right side is from my facial surgeries; the new, bandaged one is from my “thyroplasty” — don’t google it; it’s kind of scary…}
Anyway, what are your favorite “happys” to receive when you don’t feel well? Here are a few that I’ve gotten…
{a dear friend had sneakily inquired into my current, favorite treat because she was entertaining “friends” from out-of-town and wanted advice — in reality, she ended up using that info to send me my favorite treat post-surgery, right to my front door…John Kelly Chocolates, from my Valentine’s Day Chocolate Tour}
{another sweet friend always knows the way to my heart…Starbucks latte and Trader Joe’s dark chocolate}
{my parents were both in town and they brought me Yummy Cupcakes and a true favorite, the Whole Foods hot bar}
{of course, above any treat that I could eat, my little boy always meets my need for comforting treats…what a little love, so sweet to his mama! (This is what I woke up to on Sat morning)}
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The big water campaign ends tomorrow. I want to raise another $1,100 (2 mechanics) for this project. PLEASE HELP ME. This is sustainable. I believe everything can be redeemed. I believe that for extreme poverty in India. Go here to donate and please leave a comment to tell me where you live. My goal is for that number to say $2,440 by tomorrow night.
